by Melanie Tonia Evans
From the article:
For new readers this article will help you understand co-dependency and why it relates so much to being hooked by a narcissist.
Traditionally the meaning of ‘co-dependency’ was modeled as anyone who lived with an alcoholic, or another substance abuser as a child. My meaning of ‘co-dependency’ goes so much further than that.
This is my definition: Seeking emotional aspects of self from outside of self. Therefore suffering feelings of painful neediness and emptiness – and tending towards addictive or self-avoidant behaviour to try to reduce the pain rather than heal the pain from within.
In short what this means is living by the belief – “I hope you can take my pain away for me”, and “I am unworthy of granting myself my own love, care and attention”.
Truly I believe all relationships which are toxic, enmeshed, dependent or non-authentic (lacking emotional intimacy) are all co-dependent.
Co-dependency means not being a healthy and authentic Source of self-love and self-acceptance to self.
Being a healthy Source to self is vital. If we are not a healthy Source to self, then we can’t accept healthy love from others and we can’t be healthy love to others.
It all starts with self…
Co-dependency is the VERY foundation of narcissistic relationships, and I will explain why.
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