2 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Trick You Might Not Know of!

  1. Reblogged this on Surviving Extreme Trauma and commented:
    “If you’re in a narcissistic relationship you are going to be punished severely for not being perfect.” ~quote from video

    What causes a child to grow up to be a needy, love-starved codependent? Why are narcissists drawn to codependent partners — and vice versa?

    This excellent video describes how a narcissist will “love-bomb” the codependent, drawing you in by pretending to adore everything about you and then — at the first sign of imperfection in the codependent — the narcissist will stop the love-bombing, like turning off a switch.

    To a needy codependent, the effect is like being given heroin (the high feeling you get from all the intense false “love” of the narcissist), and then suddenly having the supply cut off, cold turkey

    This was me, until twelve years ago when I finally got help for my extreme codependent neediness. Prior to my healing, from the time I was a teenager I had gone from one unloving and abusive relationship to another, always believing that *I* was to blame for my own abuse, because — as my mother had often told me when I was growing up — I was “unlikable” and I “brought out the worst in people.”

    When I was sixteen and my first husband asked me to marry him, I came home from that date and ran to my mother’s room to share my exciting news. She rolled her eyes at me and said: “The only reason he thinks he loves you is because he doesn’t really know you. After he has lived with you for awhile and has gotten to know you, then he won’t love you anymore.”

    When my first husband started beating me and cheating on me within two months of our marriage, I thought my mother was right! Each of my failed “love” relationships left me even more broken and needy than I was before, reinforcing my lifelong belief that I was unlovable.

    As this video explains, I was “trained” for unloving and abusive relationships by my unloving and abusive childhood.

    Thank God, today I know better! Today I know that “love-bombing” isn’t love and all — it is nothing more than the “bait” part of a selfish bait and switch scheme. Today I know that it is perfectly OK for me to be my imperfect human self, because No One Is Perfect. Today I know that I do not deserve to be abused simply for having a few normal human faults.

    I was fifty years old when I finally learned that I have an equal right to set boundaries in a relationship and to have my own needs met. Although I learned this lesson late in life, I am so thankful that I finally did learn it. The judgmental haters from my past may point to my history of failed relationships as “proof” that I am “no good,” but today I know I that I am worthy of love and worthy of respect, just the way I am, faults and all.

    Please watch this wonderful video about the narcissist’s stop-love-bombing trick, and then click on the original link to add comments.

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